Oh Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know me better than anyone on this planet. You know my heart, my mind, when I sit when I rise. He sees my heart and knows my thoughts. Before I can even utter a word, you know my heart. You are closer than a friend. You discern my going out and my coming in. There is no where I can run from your presence. Not my closet, not my bed, not the park. Even when I am alone you are still there. Your hand will guide me and hold me. You will never let me go. Even when I hide in the dark, thinking I have escaped you, your presence surrounds me. Even when I bury myself in my emotions and my feelings, you are there. Darkness has nothing on you. You shine brighter than the day. You created my inmost being. The parts of me that I hide; the parts of me I’m scared of; the parts of me that are hurt. You know me inside and out. So I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You took time on me. There is intentionality behind my personality, my laugh, my looks, my desires, my hopes, my dreams. My frame wasn’t hidden from you when you made me. You saw my unformed body, my life, my future, every moment of every day of my life you saw it, before even one of them came to be. You saw this moment that I am in right now. You saw where I am right now. How precious to me are your thoughts, oh God. And to think that you are thinking of me so much, all the time. I’ve never known a love like that. Your thoughts for me outnumber the grains of sand. That’s insane. What are you thinking about? =) If only you would slay the wicked, God. If only you would break these chains. If only you would destroy every work of the enemy, everything that is coming against me, everything weighing on my heart. I’m on your side, God. I choose you. Nothing else. Search me and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me into the everlasting. That’s where I want to be. Contigo para siempre.
psalm 139 is my favorite. you’re my favorite. bahh